Because of sin, because i'm self-addicted living in the wreckage of the fall, my body, my heart & my soul are prone to love things that kill me. i believe that God gives us the ability to love things we should love, the things of heaven. I found myself trying to love the right things without God's help & it was impossible simply because my natural desire is to love darkness. then a thought that maybe i could make myself do good things & think good thoughts about others i could go though the motions for a while than sooner or later my heart would testify to its true love - darkness. then i would get up and try again try to discipline myself to "behave" as i loved light. those were the most depressing moments of my life because i felt that i was failing the God who had saved me______________________.